tanmayeej

Ajji..

For as long as I can remember, I have never liked the smell or taste of raw pure butter, or karela i.e. bitter gourd for that matter. The only person I remember coaxing me into trying both – has been Ajji. Because she knew I loved sweets, she mixed the butter with sugar and sent a spoonful of it down my throat. It still never made me like butter, but getting me to try it was the real achievement. That was Ajji. A teeny tiny short woman – who didn’t even touch 5 feet, as opposed to my almost 6 feet tall Ajja – but a force of nature.

Ajji was born into a huge family & similar to me – she was also the eldest in her family. I have always heard that she has taken care of everybody around her & has had a huge role in the upbringing of her siblings. Not only that, when she married and came into Ajja’s side of the family; she made sure she guided, supported and helped Ajja’s younger siblings and their families as well. Never have we heard her complain about any of this for as long as we have known her. She was a nurturer naturally & a genuinely good person at heart. Once we were born, this naturally extended into the lives of her grandchildren as well. I, being the first born on my mother’s side; have enjoyed the premium benefits, privilege & love from her until my younger siblings came along & probably even after that.

Everyday at the end of the day of our summer vacations, she used to make us all sit down & teach us Sanskrit shlokas. Every evening, she used to light the lamp & made us recite the ‘Shubham Karoti’, a Sanskrit shloka & the Marathi song version as well; a practice that I follow today in my personal life. The first time they brought home our family dog ‘Sonu’, she was the one who had introduced me to him. My favourite dish by her hands was her simple ‘varan’, i.e. yellow moong dal tadka which was simply love wrapped in comfort. Her cooking eggs for us – despite staunchly being a pure vegetarian in a Brahmin family & never eating it herself – is a memory that I hold close to my heart. This action taught me very early on that true love is in the simplest of actions, where you put your momentary comfort aside for the person, while still not compromising your beliefs and values.

Don’t get me wrong, she & I didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of topics since she was quite orthodox & traditional, and not to mention stubborn as well. But, at the end of the day, she always put aside these differences & showed unconditional love & acceptance towards us. And I think she made each of us siblings feel the most special in her own way. She, along with Ajja, have set up so many roots of our family, which I hope not only stays strong but also grows in the face of adversities.

Yesterday, this lovely tiny woman passed away. While all of us in the family are mourning this loss, everyone recollect her for having been there for everybody & someone who could be relied upon when needed. For extending the loving hand & blessings to everyone. But what struck me most were the recollections about how talented and enthusiastic she was. I have heard this umpteen number of times from Amma, that Ajji had so much potential, which never received any opportunity for growth due to her circumstances in life. Her life was eclipsed by the many roles she had to play, over the person that she actually was.

Ajji came from an all Marathi family & was married into a pure Kannadiga family where no one even understood her language. Not only did she learn to speak Kannada, but she also learnt to read & write in the language. This eagerness to learn & grow has been her personality for as long as I remember and for as long as her body supported her. Her enthusiasm to learn WhatsApp, sending beautiful quotes across to family members, even when probably not many had the time to read or respond. Her reminders & insistence to mama to recharge her phone – because she had to stay in touch with her siblings & immediate family using her phone only. There was also this instance where she bought copies of her favourite health book for not only her immediate family, but also the extended family, in the specific languages that they were proficient in – either English, Marathi or Kannada. Needless to say, that showed how deeply she understood as well as respected the differences within the family.

Her love for singing & music is well known and celebrated throughout the family. And I don’t mean someone who was tone deaf & appreciated music, but who actually had a beautiful voice & singing talents. Her memory for lyrics & songs was unparalleled. Whether she was in Pune or in Hubli (she used to live with both her sons in turns for as long as it was physically possible for her to travel), she made friends & groups and attended ‘Bhajana’ mandals to keep her love of music going. Even in the last few years of her life, when she eventually started losing her voice & was wheelchair ridden, her eyes used to sparkle when we started singing her favourite songs during festivals. My younger cousin who lived with her has probably given her the most joy in this regard. I think Amma, me & my sister have inherited this same love for music from her & I hope to cherish this gift throughout my life.

There are so many memories and moments which I can go on about, and yet it wouldn’t be enough for me to stop talking. As I bid farewell to this beautiful soul, acknowledging her many roles that she played in everybody’s lives, I want to honour her memory by remembering her for the person that she was. You will be missed Ajji!

P.S. This post is for everyone who have been fortunate to have grandparents during their growing up years.

Finding myself

2024 has come to an end and it is time to welcome the new year in. Random scrolling of Instagram, and all I saw are the reels of the whole wide world attesting to the wonderful year they had what with the trips, vacations, families, loving moments spent with their partners and other such beautiful memories. I too, naturally, reflected back on my entire year as well. Amongst the umpteen number of back and forth travel for work, major overhaul of my personal life and a chosen deep solitude from my social circle, I realised I have had one big achievement, consistently, throughout the year- and that would be – ‘Letting Go’. In the truest, most essential and basic form – just let go.

I consciously let go of-

Negativity and toxicity
Anger and Resentment
Fear
Lost dreams
Physical possessions
Need for everyone’s approval
Expectations that everyone should understand my perspective
Over-explaining myself

It was like a Diwali pre-cleaning drive of the entire house, only the house this time was my mind. I now realise the importance of some of these teeny tiny rituals and traditions we have been taught over the years by our elders. By letting go of all the clutter that was filled in my mind, I finally made space for-

Peace of mind
Positive thoughts with healing practices
New experiences
Finding new dreams – I am still working on this one 😉
Minimalistic possessions more in line with my needs
Self confidence in my ability to take right decisions for myself
Realisations that everyone will have their own narrative about me
Being content in my own skin

Was it easy? Hell, no! I had to keep reminding myself every single step, every single situation and every single instance when I felt like holding on to the thread of my old patterns. Consistently. For instance, like Ayesha from ‘Wake up Sid’ I am extremely uncomfortable getting my pictures clicked unless I am in the company of my closest people. And yet, I am now learning to not only make reels (with my face in focus), but also to boldly put them up on social media for the world to see. It’s both extremely uncomfortable and yet wildly exhilarating – not worrying what anybody would think, but rather doing what I need to do in the moment, only for myself. And being a self proclaimed introvert as well as a perfectionist, that is saying something.

When I did start to get the hang of this new mindset, what a wonderful and liberating feeling it was! As they say, you have to lose yourself to find yourself. I have started to reconnect with my factory default setting after the reset and reboot of my system. This approach towards life has enabled me to step outside of my comfort zone and explore new parts of me that I never knew existed! Am I an expert and done with this practice? Absolutely not!

While I am leaving behind all the parts of myself that do not serve the purpose anymore, I am carrying forward a box full of cherished memories and moments of happiness from my past with only love in my heart. So while I say Goodbye to the toughest year of my life, here’s three cheers to welcoming new learnings, experiences and adventures in 2025, paving the way for new memories.

Happy New Year everyone!

Driving into the weekend…

The long weekend of Holi is here and I have been thinking the entire last week as to what should I be doing in the short vacation.

Me: Should I be booking a short trip?

Also me: No.. I would rather save money and go on a long trip.

Me: Or, roam around the city and explore the smallest lanes? I actually love exploring the small nooks and corners of a city.

Also me: Maybe, depending on how much household chores need to be completed before the next work week begins.

To conclude this week long internal dialogue, let me tell you, I ended up planning absolutely nothing. Friday night, I closed the lid of my laptop still wondering what to do next morning and when Saturday arrived, I spent half the day sleeping and the other half watching random videos online.

I have recently perfected driving a car and have been itching to go on a long drive by myself for weeks. Just to prove to myself that I can! Fast forward to Sunday morning, between my weekend chores / exercise / leisure and just taking off somewhere; the latter itchy feeling won. Getting ready for the day, I hopped into the car and took off. No destination, no maps; just the car, the highway and my whims.

As soon as the car hit the highway, let me say this- I could physically feel the world being left behind. My shoulders relaxed, I felt calm and I could feel the tension ebbing away from my body. There were no random thoughts running amok in my brain, it was all peace as I drove on and on with the trees passing by and the other cars whizzing along on the road. With the miles eating away as I put on my favourite music playlist, I felt so released from the shackles of the day to day life that I wondered why I was ever afraid to drive.

When I had initially learnt driving the car – years ago, if I’m being honest- it was immensely scary to understand the mechanics, to learn when to shift the gears, to develop the judgement to pass through heavy traffic without scratching my car or god forbid denting someone else’s vehicle! So scared was I that I refused to drive unless there was minimal traffic, and I stuck my posterior only into the passenger seat almost every single time.

Eventually, my stubborn streak took over last year when I decided to face my fears and cross through this mental block I had created myself. The moment I took that decision, everything fell into place and driving became the easiest thing. How often do we do this, I wondered as I drove on. What other experiences am I missing out on, just because I stick to the passenger seat of my life journey instead of taking the control of the steering wheel? What new adventures / awakenings I might be missing on, because I might not have the courage to explore or act on my thoughts and wishes?

I am sure every one of us, at some point or the other feels this way. How many times do we decide to make a change in our life and then go right back to our old routine? How many ‘New year resolutions’ are we actually able to follow through on? All it needs is a teeny tiny baby step, and for me it started with the thought – ‘I am going to drive’ as opposed to my previous thinking of ‘I wish to learn to drive’.

Coming back to my Sunday sojourn – at the end of the first leg of my long drive, I came out of the car with the biggest smile on my face. Most of you might feel it’s a silly thing to be so proud of, but for me this was a personal validation that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. An achievement of a milestone of sorts which brought so much joy to my heart.

In the movie Piku, there’s a dialogue that goes- ‘Driving liberates a woman’ and I felt this to the core. I bid adieu with this post for now, as I drive on, hoping to conquer many more such obstacles through my journey and emerge with a smile of joy every time.

Hoping that this anecdote of my experience inspires others to move on their own path of liberation…

P.S.- few snaps from my outing

Click clack, click clack…

Sitting in the train as my journey began, watching the platform leave by;

Few words to express my thoughts, I attempt hereby..

I have been travelling frequently over the last month, and it is amazing how most of the places are so easily accessible in today’s day and age at the click of a button. I remember in my childhood, so much planning was involved if we had to travel from one city to another. Right from planning the dates of the travel, deciding the means of transportation, to checking for availability and then finally the booking of the tickets was a process in itself. Now, all we have to do is open an app, book the tickets and off we go!

Out of all the means to get from one place to another, I believe there is something magical about travelling by train. The hustle and bustle around the station, the constant hawking of wares, the clickety clack of the steel wheels on polished rails (I’m a big Sheldon buff! :D) and the sound of the railway announcements; not to mention the rush to get to the right platform and coach – the whole experience itself is exhilarating. There are so many people from different strata of society, and there is no discrimination in the kind of people travelling by trains. The aspect of a long journey is also so emotionally charged – watching the poignant emotions while someone is bidding goodbye to a loved one, waving till the last moment of visibility when the train leaves the platform and yet looking forward to the adventures.

Passing through the cities and states, watching the landscape change; you are aware of how much more there is to the world. My fondest memories of a train journey have all been when I have travelled solo. While the fun of travelling with a gang is undoubtedly great, the solo trips are an unmatched ‘ME’ time which are extremely refreshing. My absolute favourite trip was always between Pune and Mumbai. The freedom of sitting at the door, watching the hills and lush greenery roll by interspersed with waterfalls during the monsoons while passing through Lonavla was something that is indescribable. I remember giving up my seat on quite a few occasions as soon we entered Lonavala and then enjoy the rest of the journey standing at the door! I think in retrospect, these are the instances which have taught me to enjoy and experience the journey that is life as opposed to rushing towards the destination.

On this note, I’ll pen down a poem I had written years ago on another such train journey…

I wish this journey would never end,

How I wish this journey would never end!

Not so sure of when it began,

But slowly as I left the city behind;

The trees sparse and the meadows bare,

Although in the beginning I did not care…

Used to appreciating nature at her best,

The beauty around me, I took it in jest;

Evergreen foliages and soothing oceans have filled me with awe,

Whereas the peaceful meadows, I gradually saw…

Nestled in between peaks and mountains,

Littered with rocks like pearls in ocean;

The dry grass with a halo like gold in sun,

The meaning of beauty has evolved, so is the idea of fun…

The cows and sheep grazing, pause for a moment;

They gaze at me, seeming to question my lament;

For as the destination approaches, seemingly very close;

My tranquility I lose, and questions again pose..

I wish this journey would never end,

How I wish this journey would never end…

Blood: Thicker than water?

It’s been a long while since I have written, and I know my blog says ‘simple joys of life’. But, today I am here for – bear with me – there is no other word except ‘vent’. Yes, one of the more common ways human beings express themselves.

I don’t know how common this adage is – but I think everybody at some point would have heard ‘Blood is thicker than water’. Simply put, it means our blood relations are much more valuable than our acquired relations. It means that when the time comes, more often than not, it’s our family who will stand by us in times of need. I always believed that to be true to an extent – in the sense, we know exactly where we stand with family – good or bad; and will not have the insecurities or misunderstandings one faces with friends. Friends come and go in different phases of life, but family stays on. They are the people who have been there since our childhood, we have grown together, celebrated happy moments and festivals and also mourned the loss of loved ones together. There is always some drama and some misunderstandings, but family is normally assumed to be stable and not the variable aspect of life. We learn to live with and accept the different personalities – dramatic, fun loving, patronising, condescending, idealistic, gossips, show offs– no matter which one you look for, you will always find that personality in different relations.

But what do you do, when the dynamics of an unhealthy relation in your immediate or extended family move on to toxic and antagonistic? Do you still continue to be loyal or choose your peace of mind and principles over these ties?

Having myself faced such scenarios for some time now – I’m choosing to move on from the people I once called my own. Standing up for myself and my loved ones has been far more satisfying for my mental peace than choosing to go with the toxicity. Do I mean to say that me or my loved ones have never made any mistakes? – Heavens, no. It does mean that we are in the process of acknowledging, realising and ensuring we do not repeat our mistakes. It means that we are trying to rise above our prejudices and egos to look at the bigger picture. Have I already accomplished this? – No, it’s a process.

The real achievement here is to recognise an unhealthy relation and step aside, even when you actually have this gut wrenching urge to scream or argue your point. Instead, I take a deep breath and choose to not justify my actions. The healing and moving on comes later. It has been one of the most difficult things that I am learning in life. To best put across how I feel- if one of the stems of the plant starts rotting, we generally clip it off to allow new leaves to grow in the same place. In a similar way, it’s prudent to recognise when to leave behind the relations that are rotting your mind and move on to new people and experiences.

I came across another version of the same adage that I started this post with- The Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. It means that the family you choose is stronger than the one you are born into. Ultimately, I think respect, love, understanding and above all TRUST is the most important factor in all relations.

You have got to spread your wings, if you really want to fly!

Assistant Head Girl? Umm, not really sure..

Today, one of my oldest and closest friend messaged me on Whatsapp, “Hey, need some help. Do you remember who was the Assistant Head Girl and Assistant Head Boy in our 9th std?” And I was like, “I don’t remember the Assistant Head Boy, but I think I was the Assistant Head Girl, though I don’t know for sure. Let me check.” Hilarious right?! Anyhow, this led me to rummage through all my old treasures- my slam books, diaries, small snippets that friends had given me, old greeting cards. When I couldn’t find what I was looking for, I finally decided to call up the one person who would surely remember my achievements- my mom. She did confirm that I was the Assistant Head Girl, but she couldn’t remember the Assistant Head Boy either.

Having already opened up my treasure trove, it was but obvious that this was how I would be spending my afternoon. Going through my old diaries, I discovered that almost every page that I had written was about my friends – what we did through the day, fights that we had, what I said, what he/she said, hoping that the fights would be over soon. Some pages have been dedicated to sibling rivalries, arguments with parents during the teenage ‘rebel’ phase. While my diaries are all filled with my teenage problems; I found out that my slam books on the other hand, are the real ‘Sunshine’ books. They are all filled with people saying how good and cute I am, what a great friend I am along with things like you have the cutest dimples and I will never forget you. Reading it, you would really feel that there is not a single flaw in me, and I must be the greatest person on this earth. I am pretty sure I have also written similar things in their books. While I was laughing at all the innocence of that age, it also striked me that I remembered every person that had contributed as a ray to this ‘sunshine’ book. I was surprised, considering I had maybe just 8-10 friends who were really close to me. What amazed me even more was that while I wasn’t sure if I was the Assistant Head Girl, I still remembered all the good times that I have spent with my friends. It goes on to show that the people in your life- whether past, present or future- is what you will be taking with you in your old age, and not the posts you hold in multiple stages of life. It does not mean that your career/achievements are not important; just that it would not give you the stability, the confidence or the moral support that the people in your life can.

I have been very lucky to have had and still have such great friends in my life. They have been through thick and thin with me and stood by my side throughout the years. I remember my grandpa saying, “You have an amazing set of friends.” when they had come over for my engagement ceremony. Whenever I feel really low, under appreciated or struggling with my self confidence, I often think about them and their unconditional love for me along with their unwavering faith that I could accomplish anything. I won’t lie, I am not in regular touch with majority of them- except for the occasional messages on Whatsapp. While my hubby is amazing at keeping in touch with his friends over regular phone calls; I on the other hand am lousy at maintaining contact, having always had a love-hate relation with my phone and social media.

So, while life goes on- with a multitude of responsibilities as usual, my friends along with my family, are the ones who come to my mind when I think about the people closest to my heart. Sunday afternoons like today, spent in their memories are like the summer vacations that we used to spend during school time. I dedicate this post to all the people who have lost touch with their friends over the years, but carry them in their heart constantly.

MY LITTLE MONSTER

I have been in a dilemma for a while regarding what my next blog should be. While I had a multitude of topics lined up, none made me as happy as my furbaby, Caesar. Now most of you might think –oh great, another article on how dogs are the best! While that is partly true, let me also show you a different version of the same reality.

Imagine waking up to a beautiful dog wagging his tail, licking your face and greeting you lovingly in the morning. Well, that is so not the reality in our household. We are woken up by a 24 kg dog jumping up on our bed & walking all over us (not caring whether he treads our arms, legs or stomach btw) while mouthing our hand so that we pick ourselves up and take him on a walk. At such times, I am so grateful that my hubby is an early riser because I have been infamously known as ‘sleeping beauty’ since my school days (not so much as the beauty, but definitely for the sleeping slob that I am). At one point of time, me and my better half used to argue as to who would have to sleep on the outer side of the bed due to the morning terror that is Caesar. While this is extremely annoying early in the morning, it turns out to be really hilarious a couple hours later after we have fed ourselves and our bodies are fuelled up.

Moving onto our over zealous, hyperactive pup; it is sometimes unbelievable that our brat used to fit in the palm of our hands just a year ago. That was the time when we were mistakenly under the impression that how difficult would it really be to raise a dog? Well, we found out pretty soon, what with the torn mattress, torn leashes, bite marks during the teething phase that would scar us forever. He has kept us on our toes since the moment he has entered our lives and has etched himself firmly in our hearts in this process. Having him in my life has made me realise how much endurance and patience I have when things are absolutely out of my control.

I remember the torn mattress incident particularly well. My hubby had been out of town for few days and Caesar was maybe three months old then. I was sleeping out in the hall that day and I let Caesar out of his crate in the morning to stop him from whining too much. Well, while I slept on soundly -having spent half my night awake cleaning his potty and putting him to sleep; I remember Caesar kept on pawing me to wake up and show something that he had in his mouth. When I finally woke up all groggy with sleep and went in search of my brat, I found him in the bedroom -my mattress torn, cotton fluff lying out & him just sitting there with a devil may care attitude. That is when I nicknamed him ‘my little monster’ and I’m proud to say he continues to live up to his name even today.

The little monster (this bean bag is torn now, btw)

P.S. For all of you for whom this article brought even a teeny tiny smile on your face, and would like to see the torn mattress, please check out Caesar’s Instagram handle @caesar_goldenlab. Like, comment and follow; and if you would like more such hilarious episodes do let me know.

Lockdown ke side effects

The streets are 80% less crowded, only few essential shops are open and a lot of stray animals are being seen around everywhere. The lockdown 2.0 has currently gripped the entire nation.

It has been really strange, this lockdown scenario which has been prevalent in the last month or so. I don’t think anyone in today’s generation would ever have imagined – much less follow – not going to pubs, not having weekend parties, not going to movies; and these activities are just the tip of the iceberg. There has been a drastic reduction in cool Insta/ Facebook stories, no pictures of nomadic traveling by the hippies which gets us all jealous of being stuck in office-family-kids-responsibilities routine. I don’t think we have ever been this unified, seeing as we all are facing the same uncertainties, anxieties and fear in the current pandemic of COVID-19.

While on the one hand, we all, meaning the highly evolved, very intelligent species of Homo sapiens are lamenting this turn of events; Mother Earth on the other hand is celebrating. Less pollution, more wildlife, higher visibility, cleaner rivers and many other such stories of miracles are cropping up on our news channels. I personally feel that Mother Earth has waged a war against us humans, irrespective of religion, boundaries and countries; and it looks like she intends to win this war. All that we can do right now is take a step back, realise that the world is much bigger than us and our “man made issues” and the real need of the hour is to be grateful for all the resources provided by nature.

Having said that, I feel there might be a silver lining hidden in this ordeal. Over the last few weeks, majority of the people throughout the world have been able to spend an enormous amount of time with their families, something that would not have been possible under normal circumstances. Where we had become so habituated to ignoring any personal issues by running behind office work and our careers, it is now ironic that everyone is being forced to communicate and learn to live harmoniously. There is no place to escape anymore, and the only place we can go is inside our own head to improve ourselves through constant reflections. In a way, we have unknowingly been given a wonderful opportunity for personal progress. Let us all pledge ourselves to create a better world in future through all the lessons learnt today.

On a lighter note, let us also utilise this time to bring back our childhood innocence, play fun games, bond with each other and enjoy this vacation. As we are all aware, change is the only constant in life and in time this too shall pass.

STAY SAFE EVERYONE! ✌🏼

Morning Dose of Happiness

You wake up in the morning to the blaring sound of your alarm. You snooze it, hoping to get few more minutes of bliss and paradise before you wake up to the mundane routine and reality of life. Waking up, the first thing you need is probably a cup of coffee or tea to jolt your senses and open your eyes.
That is how my day started. Like any other day, I woke up after a lengthy fight with my alarm where eventually my alarm won. I washed my face, and opened my front door to bright sunshine and to soak up some vitamin D. The sun was also still waking up and rising slowly, making me feel that we humans might not be the only beings who would wish a few more minutes of bliss. That is when I heard the sound which was literally music to my ears. “Woof!” It was Appu, a small puppy which was a recent addition to my neighbor’s family. I think it might be rare for any person in this world to remain unaffected by either a puppy or a baby.
“Woof!” came the call again. And it didn’t matter that I had to get ready for office, cook, do the dishes or clean up things. It all had to absolutely wait as I yielded to the call of the little ball of fur. I think they are completely aware of the effect they have on us, and use their charms to get everything that they want accomplished. As I ran towards the small bundle of energy, he got so excited that he began jumping and woofing and settled only after I started petting and loving him.
There’s something about being around a dog which brings immense pleasure to your state of mind. As I was petting Appu, tickling the underside of his belly- he rolled over with all his paws in air, tongue out and waiting for me to scratch his belly. He looked like he was in heaven. That small act was all it took to make him happy and he started playfully biting and jumping around. A little bit of love, absolute focus and some dedicated time was all he cared about. In return, he gave me his absolute attention and heaped me with his puppy love.
Needless to say- fifteen minutes of unconditional love later, I was refreshed beyond my imagination. Appu went on to seek more love and pampering from other kids in the neighborhood and they indulged him like a prince. For me though, those fifteen minutes got me through every small issue in the day with a smile on my face. I kept thinking about those fifteen minutes throughout the day and suddenly realized that it was like my morning dose of happiness.
Appu would probably never understand his significance in others life, but I believe every person might be having his or her own individual morning dose of happiness. It might be Yoga, jogging, laughter club, reading newspaper and for some people it might even be cooking or cleaning. Now imagine waking up and getting a cup of morning dose of happiness instead of your cup of coffee or tea. I guarantee you that you would be hooked to it for the rest of your life.

P.S. this article has been written long before the current lockdown situation in India..

Searching for my soul- My First Blog Post

I have always been an idealist. I know what most of you will think – get real, get practical! This is actually the mantra that has been preached to me by multitude of people. To escape this pessimistic attitude, I have always immersed myself in writing, as no one really talked back to me then.

But truth be told, what started as an escape, turned into a beautiful relation with myself and my thoughts. Through my own reflection, I started learning the art of balancing my idealist views with that of the real world. Through this art of self conversation, I’m learning to deal with and find simple joys in this long journey called life.

Along this journey, I would love to gather more friends, with whom I can share and learn. Hence, although I am a very private person, I’m choosing to start this blog to pick soul-searching people like me along the way.

WELCOME!!

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